Wednesday, February 17, 2010

"A Confused Anger"

I just returned from Haiti Sunday night, after having spent a couple weeks there. I spent most of my time rooming with Gene Summerlin, and as Gene and I talked, I realized that I have struggled with a mixture of gratitude for all the attention now directed towards Haiti as well as some resentment and anger. Gene was experiencing some anger when we were in Haiti and he kept receiving messages from people saying how great he was for going to Haiti. I’ve been getting angry too at all the media attention that will soon fade once the next best thing arrives. I wasn’t able to put my finger on my anger until I read this article written by my friend Jimmy Dodd. Jimmy took me to Haiti for the first time in 2004 and his sentiments in his article nail my feelings. I’m still working through the emotions, but I’m grateful for Jimmy to have put a finger on them. I’m glad to be back home and I’m looking forward to returning to Haiti in March with our Grace Chapel teams. Thank you for your partnership with God’s people in Haiti.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Reflections – A Confused Anger, by Jimmy Dodd

One month ago today an earthquake struck Haiti. The following thoughts have stirred in my heart for the past several weeks.

It is a picture we have come to know all too well. Haitian orphans wandering the streets, unemployment inching towards 80%, clean water a luxury, food in short supply, no working sewer system which results in refuse flowing down the streets of Port-au-Prince, children being sold into slavery and more than half of Haitian children not attending school.

A post earthquake picture of Haiti? No! This was everyday life in Haiti on January 11th, the day before an earthquake rocked Port-au-Prince.

I have had the same discussion with a number of people this past month. Each feels sheepish about beginning the conversation. They experience a mixture of guilt and anger as they share the deepest recesses of their heart. The exchange goes something like this:

I am so grateful that everyone jumped at the opportunity to help Haiti. I am grateful that George Clooney, Taylor Swift, Alyssa Milano (and ten thousand other celebrities) have made Haiti a priority. They are speaking out about the need to get involved, raising money, answering the telethon phone and even traveling to Haiti (Sean Penn leads the parade). But, it’s not like Haiti didn’t have extreme problems on January 11th, 2010. When people are asked, ‘why are you involved in Haiti?’ The answer is often – I am involved because I feel compassion for the thousands of orphans, for the families who lost loved ones, for a country literally starving before our eyes.

“But”, (and here is where I hear a confused mix of anger and passion), “where were these people on January 11th?” Why now? The devastation in Haiti did not begin on January 12th! The devastation has been there for decades. The earthquake took Haiti devastation from a 9 to a 10 on the tragedy scale.

I too am grateful for those who have rushed to Haiti. I thank the Lord for the countless individuals who have given of their financial resources and their time to assist. I believe that the Lord can and will use the earthquake to awaken a new commitment to serve one of our closest neighbors.

I believe (and I pray) that January 12th will be remembered as the worst day in Haitian history and the best day in Haitian history.

But, the question remains: Why are so many people wanting to be involved in Haiti? It is a valid question. I Corinthians 13:5 tells us …Love is not self-seeking. Love does not seek its own personal, private preference without reference to what may be good for other people. Love seeks its joy in the good of others.

When you attempt to live – not motivated by love - but so that God will bless you make you feel better about your earthy existence - this is incredibly selfish. If the good works you do – are being done with selfish motives, then you are living life to ultimately justify yourself and your behavior.

Here is where this reflection gets downright painful –

If I jump on a plane to Haiti immediately following the earthquake – because I need to be there; but the need to be there is in actuality a deep personal need to feel justified – then ultimately , though I may feed a thousand children, I am not helping the poor – I am helping myself because it is all about me as I attempt to justify my existence upon this earth.

Please don’t get me wrong. Everyone working in Haiti is not doing so from selfish motives. And, it is not wrong to naturally feel satisfaction with serving. But, if that is the root of our good works then our acts of kindness are ultimately selfishness.

As a pastor, I have encountered the following on countless occasions. In a family, one spouse is a drug addict / alcoholic (name your addiction). The spouse of the addict sacrifices much for the unhealthy spouse. They go the extra mile again and again to help the unhealthy spouse to recover and lead a productive life. Commonly, more often than you would imagine, when the unhealthy spouse gets healthy – the marriage falls apart. Why? Because the healthy spouse finds it difficult to connect any longer to the (newly) healthy spouse. Ultimately, the relationship was not about love – the relationship was about the healthy person needing to be a savior. The apparent acts of sacrificial love were about the healthy spouse's need to be indispensable. “Look at the love I’m giving my spouse who has so many problems”. When the unhealthy spouse recovers, the marriage is often over. This is Love seeking its own (I Cor. 13:5). Clearly, in this scenario they were both unhealthy,

Some are championing Haiti and rushing to the scene because they are feeling like they have to be the hero, the champion, the savior. If that is where your heart is today, while your acts to serve the poor are commendable, your acts are not motivated by love. You are seeking your own. To be sure, these are actions which will benefit Haiti, but ultimately, your actions are not motivated by a need to feel justified, accepted and loved.

The rush to help Haiti points to a deeper issue. You are not the champion. I am not the champion. But there is a savior, a hero. His name is Jesus. When you begin to see that Jesus alone is the savior and lover – only then can you begin to be motivated by love. When the other person’s joy is your joy, their delight is your delight – this is love. And, it is only found in Jesus.

Please – don’t mistake being good for meeting Jesus.

Watching the world’s celebrities take their turn at the front of the stage to promote helping Haiti has more often than not revealed their search for significance, a search which can only be settled in Jesus.

I understand why many people feel resentment towards those who have suddenly made Haiti their life priority. But know this: many of the people who have jumped on the Haiti bandwagon are looking for an opportunity to justify their existence upon this earth. GK Chesterton wrote, ““Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God”. So too, any person who rushes to Haiti for self-justification is looking for God.

We can only pray that through their attempts to be a savior to Haitians by serving the poor, they will see their need for a savior and a hero – only Jesus.

No comments: